NEW MOOD FOR THE WEEK...
I woke up this morning and one look in the mirror was all it took for me to shit on my whole mood and set the tone for my day. I was all kinds of f'd up. Puffy. Wrinkly. Looked like and old wine bag ready to burst. I said, "you look ugly. " and moved on. It's something I'm used to saying when I wake up less than rested or dehydrated. I went about my day accepting my ugliness and didn't think about it anymore.
Then something miraculous shifted my mood. I spent some time alone. A whole two hours alone! My husband and child were sleeping and I was able to have "me time". I went crazy and watched a movie, had a bowl of oatmeal and nutella toast with tea. I actually got through a whole movie on my own. And it was a good fucken movie too. Oh snap!
This is huge. I have a toddler that is pure drama Queen 👑 (like her mom) and she requires much attention⚠ (like her mom). So to have any time to myself is a miracle. We've all been there right. At some point we let something run us down a bit. A relationship. A job. A project. A jackass boss. Toxic friends with crazy boyfriends. We give give give give give. Then...we're exhausted. Now I'm not saying my husband or daughter are toxic or jackasses or that they drain me. My husband is always telling me to take a nap, to relax and take a break. He helps and is 100% supportive. I'm the one that plays martyr on a daily basis. I don't give myself permission. I keep going because the minute I stop...I play my own guilt card that I have stashed under my sleeve every time I need a minute. I do this until I absolutely explode. 💥 Not cool bitch.
But today was different. Thankfully God must've been like "take several seats please. Shut up and stuff your face with some nutella and you'll be all better." Yes.
To add to the awesomeness, even after my alone time when the others woke up I took a cat nap and let dad have breakfast with our daughter. More me time. It was absolutely amazing to not have to worry about anyone else for a minute and be a selfish bastard for once. (If you believe that) 😏
Then.... I HAD COFFEE☕💥💥💥💣🎉👯
By then I was feeling rejuvenated and started to soft shoe through my day. Shuffling all about. I had a great afternoon of singing in the car with my toddler girl. She is the best singer I know (because I'm her mom) and I love when we're singing duets. All good stuff. Ran an errand and played in the park. Saw a drug deal go down. And got home in time for a nap. Mom, you're awesome. No. Jihan, you're awesome. And then you know what happened.... I looked in the mirror and I swear to Goodness I looked radiant as a mother. And I looked in the mirror and I said... "You look pretty. It's like my happiness is coming from the inside my face. "
Yes I talk to myself like this. In the mirror. Point is...when I was all negative and annoyed and tired I was only feuling the belief that I was an ugly ogre. When I took time for myself it made me feel pleasure and that made me feel rested and cared for. And that made me look rested and happy.
So please remember you're not ugly. You're just tired of everyone else. Just kidding. I love my family. 😂😘 But I didn't realize I needed my own time until I had some. My husband and I had implemented a day off system where we could each take a day off from family/home/each other once a week. We need to go back to this. This week.... I'm getting my nails done. Or at least going to CVS to buy some blingy ghetto press-ons because I'm cheap AF. Whatever, it could be anything. Maybe I'll go to Starbucks and write. Or take a nap. Whatever...we both deserve some alone time. Especially my hubby. He works so hard. And he basically has two little drama queens to deal with. Soooo, if you're reading this babe, let's have a day off this week! 🙌 Me first 💅